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Undeniable Insecurities


Photo by Saulo Mohana on Unsplash


What are your insecurities?  Everyone is insecure about something.  Some have more insecurities than others, but no one is immune.  Maybe your insecurity relates to your career, education, physical appearance, friendships, personal relationships, fears/failures, and/or physical disabilities.  No one is good at everything or has the perfect life.  We are all flawed in one way or another, but the bigger question is what impact do our insecurities have on our lives?  And what do we do about those insecurities?  Some individuals allow their inadequacies to consume and overwhelm them.  Our insecurities can debilitate us so much that we can’t function.  What causes insecurity?

There can be a number of things tied to our insecurities and the list is way too long to be all-inclusive, but suffice it to say that trauma, loss, abuse, bullying, mental or physical problems are some of the factors related to feelings of insecurity.  The key is learning effective and constructive strategies to deal directly with our insecurities.  Many individuals deny, repress, or avoid dealing with their insecurities and engage in destructive behaviors to cope with their pain.  Unfortunately responding this way only perpetuates and intensifies one’s insecurities.  Sometimes defensiveness, jealousy, people pleasing, emotional manipulation, and a superior attitude can be a sign of insecurity.  Time alone doesn’t take away insecurities; action is required.  What can we do?

For starters, we need to identify the areas of insecurity and possibly the origin of these feelings. Sometimes we need to confront the insecurity head-on discerning whether it’s tied to a perceived fear or an irrational belief.  Our thoughts can contribute greatly to our fears and insecurities and reframing our thinking can be extremely helpful.  We may need to learn new skills, improve on old skills, and/or accept our limitations as a means of confronting our emotional feelings.  Learning to communicate assertively and confronting conflict constructively can allay our feelings of inadequacy.  Identifying our strengths and abilities may ease our insecurities and help us in focusing on our positive attributes.  Surround yourself with supportive people and avoid people who exacerbate your insecurities.  Self-forgiveness and resilience are also valuable strategies to conquer insecurity.  Working on self-acceptance and recognizing that insecurity impacts everyone can normalize our occasional feelings of unworthiness.  Lastly, change your perspective and consider the positive side of insecurity; it keeps us humble.  Life is filled with insecure moments, don’t allow those circumstances to define you.

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© 2019 by Colgrin