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Tiger's Apology

What is your take on Tiger’s apology?  Was it real and from his heart or was it a lame attempt at healing the pain he’s caused?  His speech was clearly scripted and planned out with incredible thought with all of the words appropriately suited for someone taking responsibility for his actions.  But, can he deliver?  The expression, “actions speak louder than words,” totally fits for his situation.  He needs to demonstrate his sincerity with significant and permanent attitudinal and behavioral change.  Maybe the same intensity, drive and determination that he applies to golf can be directed toward rebuilding his marriage, family, and friendships.  In my practice this situation occurs daily, not to the same magnitude or notoriety, but where spouses are rebuilding a marriage after multiple infidelities.  It is not an easy task for either party.  The trust has been shattered, both physical and emotional trust.  Working towards forgiveness and confronting/releasing the pain is an overwhelming task, but it is doable.  People can change, Tiger can change.  He apparently accepts that he needs to change, but does he really want to change?  In therapy I encourage patients to make the change based on an internal desire, commitment, and motivation, rather than the change being purely externally driven.  Change doesn’t stick if it’s primarily driven by external factors such as others’ needs/opinions, societal forces, money/status, or approval/acceptance.  Instead, choose to change based on the desire to live with integrity, morals, values, self-respect, and peace.  Suffering and healing often occur simultaneously, lets hope that Tiger’s healing has begun.

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