Why do people wait until a crisis occurs before they seek help? Many couples prefer to ignore problems until significant damage has been done. Relationships take work and people would rather coast rather than put in consistent effort. Think of relationships like a plants that needs watering, sunshine, and fertilizer to maintain life. Many of the couples in my practice have grown apart over time and don’t realize how detached they are until they are forced to confront their problems. People put more time and energy into other activities and the relationship gets the scraps. We cannot expect relationships to thrive or survive with little effort. Couples lose their connection when every other aspect of life takes precedent.
If your relationship needs renewed connection, make the relationship a priority and invest time/energy to create a positive focus. The importance of reestablishing a friendship and finding fun in the relationship will strengthen the bond. Something as simple as talking to each other consistently and deepening the topics discussed will create a greater connection. Working through conflict and finding compromise is essential for healthy relationships. Being able to apologize, forgive, and let go of conflict increases the likelihood of relationship success.
Being open and direct about our relationship needs with our partner is important. Trust and intimacy are often the most significant issues and figuring out ways to establish these into the relationship is important. Trust requires consistency in words and actions, which is essential for any relationship. Being intentional about physical and emotional connection will deepen the closeness. Lastly, investing time and energy into the relationship will allow it to grow and flourish with the result of a greater connection.