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Purpose Versus Process Driven

Have you ever noticed how different men and women are when it comes to shopping?  We men approach the whole experience entirely differently, with the purpose of getting in and out quickly, while women, in general, enjoy the process of looking and making it a day long event.  We approach life so differently and often get frustrated with and misunderstand each other’s approach.  Interestingly, studies have found that women communicate using both sides of their brain while men communicate using only one side.  We can conclude that we process information and communicate differently.  Even in times of conflict women want to process the conflict while men want to solve it.  Women want men to listen while men want to fix the problem.  I can go on and on, but you get the point; we are different beings.  We are biologically wired differently, culturally raised differently, and approach relationships very differently.  By the way, there is not right or wrong here, just different.  This makes for challenging times in couples counseling and requires an extra effort to get couples on the same page.  Helping couples realize the benefits of their differences and have an appreciation for their partner’s approach can be rewarding when achieved.  We can learn from each other, reach a more balanced approach, and grow in our maturity and emotional health when we successfully incorporate some of our partner’s approach.  God made us different for a reason and our job is to trust and accept that it is for our good.  We can enjoy the process while working towards a purpose.  Next week I will discuss further the ways to work as a team in spite of our differences.

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