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Married to an Achiever

You know you are married to an achiever when they map out the Disney Theme park attraction schedule before leaving to maximize every minute of the experience.  Achievers tend to be leaders who are hardworking, confident, competitive, goal-oriented, driven, and who persevere through challenges.  These characteristics can be rewarded in the workplace and create positive opportunities for career success.  Achievers take the initiative and are driven to overcome obstacles that would hinder many. They also tackle problems head-on, operate independently, and are analytical in their approach.  Many great leaders, entrepreneurs, and professionals possess most of these attributes which enable them to be successful in their careers.  Unfortunately many high achievers are not good at balancing their careers with their family/married life.  The characteristics that contribute to their success are not always conducive to good relationships.

Many high achieving types never leave work because they bring work home with them or can’t shut their minds off.  They may have difficulties following others’ lead and/or delegating.  Achievers tend to be hard on themselves and others with the expectation of perfection.  Their focus is on success building instead of people building.  They tend to be insensitive to others’ emotions and deny their own.  Cooperation, compromise, and empathy are not common characteristics of the high achievers.  Many achievers like to be in control of their own destiny and may react poorly when others are attempting to share in control.

The good news is that achievers can learn to balance their lives and adopt a new mindset.  Gaining an awareness of the characteristics that don’t bode well for their marriage and making a concerted effort to tone down some of these traits will make a difference.  Acknowledging the value of relationships and learning to recognize and express emotion can also create a greater connection.  Transitioning from work mode to home mode while adopting a noticeable difference in attitude, behavior, and demeanor will benefit the entire family.  Being a high achiever myself I recognize the sense of fulfillment from hard work, but I also appreciate the need for a balanced life and healthy relationships.  Balance breeds success.

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