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Marriage and Tandem Bikes

What do tandem bikes and marriages have in common?  Think about the similarities between the two and the importance of being “in-sync.”  Many of the couples I work with are out of balance and working against each other.  Sometimes one person is pedaling as fast as they can while the other person has their feet up.  This scenario can cause a lot of frustration, anger, and resentment.  Sometimes we are braking while our partner is still pedaling.  We can easily crash if we’re not communicating with each other our expectations, intentions, and desires.  Many couples spend years together without sharing their needs, goals, or dreams with each other.  It is very difficult to proceed on the marriage journey without a game plan and some direction.  We also have detours, roadblocks, and rough terrain in life that we occasionally need to maneuver around.  Without consistent and effective communication this process can be scary, painful, and lonely.  Are making an effort on the tandem bike journey with your partner?  Marriage, like biking, requires team work, cooperation, compromise, and communication.  Couples that are most successful can resolve conflict effectively, share in control, value each others’ strengths, and take responsibility for powering the marriage.  Riding tandem bikes can be fun and exciting or frustrating and irritating depending upon how you approach the experience and your commitment to the process.  Decide the experience you want to have in your marriage and work at being a team.  Next week I will discuss specific ways to make our lives less stressful and achieve harmony in marriage.

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