Can people change? Of course they can, but not without motivation, commitment, and courage. Change is not easy for anyone, but if you desire a different lifestyle and want to make healthier choices change is necessary. As mentioned last week, people lie to avoid, manipulate, control, and protect themselves/others. The lying keeps them stuck in dysfunction and turmoil. Often their fears and insecurities are at the root of lying behaviors. It helps to examine the motivations for lying and to take personal responsibility for the impact this behavior has on others. What might these motivations be? To avoid conflict, to attract attention, a bad habit? Learning to be assertive and expressing thoughts/feelings constructively can reduce the need for lying. Mastering conflict resolution can also help with eliminating lying behaviors. In addition, building self-esteem, gaining attention through positive behaviors, and developing a healthy support system (peer group) will lead to emotional stability and resilience. Another important way to change is by modifying our thoughts and attitudes. Typically we develop our conscience from our childhood when we learn about morals, values, integrity, and character. If we lack in this area, we have to learn a completely new belief system as an adult to see the value in doing the “right thing” and to believe that honesty and authenticity increase the chances of experiencing peace and joy. A person changing his lying behavior builds trust over time with others as he is consistent in words and actions. The bottom line is that healthy, deep, and intimate relationships require transparency. The truth will set you free.