Photo by Jayphen Simpson on Unsplash
How much time, energy, focus, and attention does your marriage receive? Think of your marriage as a bank account where you have deposits and withdrawals. A deposit is a compliment, hug, doing something nice for your partner, forgiving them, or maybe spending quality time. A withdrawal, on the other hand, is being critical, condescending, or putting the person down, the silent treatment, doing something hurtful and mean, or ignoring and discounting the person. When you consider your marriage account, do you have too many withdrawals or not enough deposits? Is your marriage without passion and connection or is it filled with conflict and tension? Most couples struggle with both problems, too many withdrawals and not enough deposits. Many of the couples I see in my practice have gone bankrupt and drained their marriage account completely. Think of your marriage as an investment that can produce dividends if the account is growth-producing, stable/secure, and maintained properly. Marriage requires regular maintenance, daily attention, and consistent nurturing. Decide to limit your withdrawals and increase your deposits. The pay off results in affection, love, respect, trust, and intimacy. We all desire these elements of a healthy relationship, but sometimes avoid making the positive investments and expect the benefits anyway. Invest in your marriage and reap the rewards, you’ll be glad you did!