How do you cope with loss? All of us at one point in our lives have lost a friendship or relationship that was very special. Some grieve the loss while others stay stuck in the pain. Healing requires us to deal with the pain. Maybe you grew up in a family that never discussed emotional pain. Or maybe your family talked about negative emotions incessantly without any resolution or closure. Typically, our way of coping as adults is related to our family of origin either by adopting their mode or choosing the complete opposite. Some people choose to not heal from the loss of a broken relationship, but instead look for a replacement. The wounds remain even though they are scabbed over. Anyone who thinks that time heals all wounds is wrong. Time can help, but it doesn’t heal. The way to heal is to confront the pain which means identifying it, experiencing it, expressing it, and eventually closing it. Rejection is part of life and can be very painful, but we can choose to work through our pain rather than hold it inside or take it out on others. In some cases talking directly to the person that caused the pain is not an option or the best choice, but you can write about the pain and work towards forgiveness. Ultimately healing comes from letting go of pain and selecting a life without it. Easier said than done. I never said it would be easy, but the alternative is not a good option and will only perpetuate your pain. Next week I will talk further about coping with a broken relationship and expand on the benefits of healing.
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