Have you ever wondered why people lie? Of course the obvious reasons are to avoid the consequences and repercussions of their actions. Other times we lie to avoid hurting others or to avoid creating conflict. Conflict is unavoidable, yet people go to great lengths to avoid it. The emotions from conflict are either internalized or expressed, so either way one has to deal with them. When someone chooses to keep the emotions inside instead of sharing them, disconnection occurs. Another reason people lie is to avoid giving up control. Sometimes people want so badly for the lie to be true that they lose sight of reality. Some learn to lie from their role models while others acquire the skill over time in an effort to maintain a facade and avoid being known. Invariably lies are tied to fear, manipulation, and/or pride. And lies tend to snowball, so it takes several lies to cover up the first one.
Our fears and insecurities can perpetuate our lies. And remember that lying through omission is still a lie. When we withhold information purposefully to avoid a negative consequence and leave out details to skirt the outcome, we are still lying. We are all guilty of lying on occasion, but some have made it an art form and are incredibly skilled at manipulation. Do you have any guilt or remorse when you lie? When lying becomes more natural than telling the truth it has become an addiction of sorts. Lying keeps people disconnected and detached from others. It also can prevent people from confronting pain, healing, and growing emotionally. Lying is an unhealthy coping mechanism that keeps people stuck in their pain. So what are some good options?
Of course, telling the truth is the obvious choice, but it is not always an easy one. It can be very helpful to figure out what you lie about the most to discern a theme or pattern. Maybe there is an insecurity underneath some of those lies that you need to acknowledge. When we identify our insecurities, we are one step closer to working through them. There is tremendous power in telling the truth and sharing openly your feelings without the fear of judgement and ridicule. Truthfulness will set you free and liberate you from the bondage of lies and deceit. Share your lies with a trusted friend and work on turning them into truths. When we openly acknowledge our struggles instead of keeping secrets and covering up our problems, we increase the likelihood of healing. Find the courage to turn your lies into truths.