Photo by Ryan Pouncy on Unsplash
Why do couples wait until their marriage is engulfed in flames before taking action? I have asked myself that question often in my years of counseling and have concluded that maybe it’s pride, fear of change, comfort with victim hood, and/or cluelessness. Whatever the reason, people tend to delay and deny that a problem exists and in some cases wait until the marriage is in ruins before repair work can begin. I’ve been covering these issues in my radio show and discussing areas of change: communication, conflict resolution, trust/forgiveness, and intimacy. Couples quickly learn that the grass appears greener on the other side because they’re not watering their own grass. I also remind them that focusing on blame prevents change. For starters, their marriage has to become a higher priority.  Listening is more important than talking. Couples figure out that you can have conflict with resolution and not destroy each other in the process. In many cases trust has been lost, whether it’s physical or emotional, and healing the pain is part of the process of trust building. Forgiveness is a concept that is often misunderstood. Couples learn through therapy that releasing the negative emotion while no longer seeking revenge can bring reconciliation. Finally, the need for intimacy (emotional and physical) is an essential part of our human existence. Connection comes from sharing emotions, activities, and life. Get on board and take charge of your marriage by fostering those four ingredients into your relationship. Do it now before the fire is out of control!