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Dysfunctional People Attract


Photo by Jad Limcaco on Unsplash


Do you know someone who is in a dysfunctional relationship and wonder why they stay? This is a common occurrence in my practice where emotionally unhealthy individuals get into and stay in toxic relationships. Why? What is the magnetic draw? For some people being with a dysfunctional person enables them to remain unhealthy, be a victim, and not have to change. Others need someone to blame, attack, and focus on other than themselves. Sadly our society reinforces this theme of blaming others and avoiding responsibility for our own actions. In many cases, people make bad decisions about relationships at times of increased vulnerability and insecurity. We’ve all seen this before where a person looks for a replacement partner shortly after losing a former partner. This probably contributes to the higher divorce rate for second and third marriages. Transitional relationships usually fail and prevent people from dealing with the loss of their previous relationship or any emotional baggage that caused the relationship to fail. Sometimes guilt and/or fear prevent people from getting out of a dysfunctional relationship. They may have a fear of being alone or finding another person to love them. Guilt related to failure and quitting may also contribute to a decision to stay. Insecurity plays a major role in a person’s decision to stay in an unhealthy relationship. Learn next week how to make a decision about your relationship from a position of strength rather than weakness. Most importantly, start working on getting healthy as an individual if you want a healthy relationship.

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© 2019 by Colgrin