Are you in a relationship that has continual conflict but rarely has resolution? Many of the couples that I work with have a difficult time achieving resolution and closure at times of conflict. Some individuals have limited skill or experience with conflict resolution. Conflict is part of everyone’s life and is unavoidable, similar to taxes. Maybe you never saw conflict growing up or saw an excessive amount of conflict. Either way you may have had limited exposure to successful conflict resolution. Many people fear conflict and want to avoid it at all costs. They can run, but they can’t hide. Conflict will catch you and wreak havoc on your life if you keep it inside. The bigger question is “what do you do with your conflict?” The two unhealthy choices are to internalize it or explode. Conflict that remains in your head will never be resolved. It needs to reach your lips. People that hold onto conflict often have physical problems, emotional problems, disturbed sleep, relational problems, and/or addictive behaviors. Unresolved conflict with couples creates resentment and eventually detachment. Others react by lashing out and exploding which also creates problems including hurt, anger, and alienation. We all want peace in our relationships, but we need to accept that conflict is part of all relationships, even healthy ones. You have to go through it to get through it! Learn next week healthy skills to resolve conflict.
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