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Auto-Pilot Marriage

How many people live with a roommate instead of a spouse?  Have you put your marriage on auto-pilot?  You are not alone.  Life is so busy that it’s very easy to neglect our marriage and just focus on getting through the day.  We are all guilty of this at times, but some couples live permanently is this state of disconnectedness.  Many of the couples I see in my practice have drifted into this predicament and are often clueless as to how they got there.  Couples forget that marriage requires nurturing, time, and effort.  In my practice, couples either lack consistent communication, are unable to resolve conflict, or have limited emotional and physical intimacy.  In some cases, anger, resentment and blame lead to detachment.  Regardless of the cause, couples need to find ways to re-connect or their marriage will die.  Learning new skills in communicating and resolving conflict can be very helpful.  It may be as simple as setting aside 15 minutes 3X per week to talk with no distractions.  Having a date night 2X per month and taking turns planning the date can be helpful.  Try making a “fun list” and comparing each others list to see the overlap.  It is also helpful to write down your needs/desires for the marriage and work on one of your partner’s needs each week.  Take action since inaction is not working.  Do it now before the marriage crashes and burns.

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