When was the last time you shared with your spouse your needs in your marriage? Many couples neglect to express their needs and occasionally are surprised by their spouse’s response. In marriage we expect that our partner will scratch our back, just like we will scratch theirs, but need to know where their itch is. Often couples scratch in the spot that itches them and never ask what is important to their partner. So what are the top five needs for men? Of course men need physical intimacy, but you may be surprised to learn that most extra-marital affairs have a stronger emotional connection. Recognize that emotional connections are not drama filled, but instead involve sharing passions, laughter, encouragement, and companionship. Men also desire admiration and respect. Sometimes women forget to acknowledge their appreciation for their husband’s contribution to the family. Let him know that you are proud of him and value his character. He also needs a spouse who takes care of herself physically and emotionally and who exhibits confidence and self-respect. Along those lines, men want to be trusted and have the freedom to develop male friendships that are reasonable and appropriate. Lastly, men want a woman who will take care of him, nurture him, and provide domestic support, but not be his mother. Maybe I covered more than five, but many are overlapping. Wives, I challenge you to ask the question to your husband directly and have him write down his top five needs and you write down yours as well. Over the next week each of you select one need to work on for the week, but don’t tell your partner which one you’ve chosen. Next week we’ll cover the top five needs for women in marriage.
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