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Roommate Marriage

Photo by Ben Garratt on Unsplash

Do you ever feel like your partner is more like your roommate than your spouse?  What is missing in your relationship?  For many of the couples that I work with the passion is missing or there is no emotional connection between them or both.  With the busyness of life, it is very easy for couples to neglect each other and their marriage.  Priorities are often misaligned with the focus being on work, the children, and/or friends, but not the marriage.  Some people don’t know how to be emotionally intimate because they didn’t grow up with that connection.  Still others fear emotional vulnerability based on past hurts and work hard to maintain a safe distance.  Men tend to connect through physical intimacy, but have very little awareness of ways to emotionally attach.  Whatever the reason, roommate marriages can’t survive.  Couples that lack an emotional or physical connection will eventually look elsewhere for a substitute.   Living in a roommate marriage also will limit the joy and excitement that marriage has to offer. Healthy marriages require work and nurturing.  Roommates share space, tasks, and activities, but that’s about it.  If you’re living in a roommate marriage, decide that you want and deserve more.  Share these thoughts and feelings with your partner, and read next week’s blog to find out how to change the relationship.

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