Are you in a marriage with a nagging or demanding wife? Do you ever feel emasculated or disrespected by her cutting comments? Many men find themselves in this type of relationship and have a hard time finding a way out. In my practice I work with men who struggle with this dilemma all the time. On the one hand they want to end the marriage, but they also realize the emotional and family consequences tied to this decision. In some cases they married controlling, domineering, and demanding women because they do not possess those traits, but admire them in others. Other times these men have low self-esteem, avoid conflict, and prefer to relinquish control to their partner. Many are people pleasers and go to great lengths to make everyone else happy but themselves. Maybe they grew up in a similar family dynamic with their mother being the matriarch and their father being the accommodating, passive and easygoing person. Over time these men build up a tremendous amount of anger and resentment which eventually results in rebellion/self-destruction or some form of lashing out. Of course the wife would benefit from understanding her role in this dysfunctional relationship since she plays a major role. Her need for power, control, and domination may relate to her own fears and insecurities from the past. She also may have issues with men from her past and displace the negative emotions on to her husband. Next week I will cover ways to deal with this dynamic in marriage and reach a balance of power and control.
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