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Financial Infidelity

Have you ever lied about spending or hoarding money?  Some people conceal cash, have secret credit cards, hide bills and hide bank accounts. These are common examples of cheating on your spouse with money.  Financial management of marital funds is a very common problem in marriages, but financial deception takes it to a much higher level.  In fact, money troubles are often cited as a primary contributor to divorce.  Money is not the problem in and of itself, it’s lying about it that creates mistrust and disrespect.  Trust is an essential part of a healthy marriage and without trust the marriage will fail. Financial deception may be the tip of the iceberg and lead to a bigger layer of deception underneath such as sexual infidelity.  In some cases the value of the bank account matters more to a spouse than the value of the relationship.  What can you do to resolve these issues?  For starters, the person with the problem needs to “fees up” and take personal responsibility.  The truth will set you free.  Marriage is all about negotiation, compromise, trust, and open communication.  It may be necessary to meet with a financial planner and a couple’s therapist to sort through the issues, establish a game plan, and learn new ways to manage money.  Money can be an extremely powerful and destructive resource.  Think about how money affects your marriage and life.

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